Take for instance, the dictum that we should love our neighbor. Seems simple enough, right?
Well, what happens when that neighbor is your concierge?
In my concierge's case, most days he just sits outside the front of the building, unshaved, slouching in his chair in the shade, watching the world go by. He and the concierges from the neighboring buildings sometimes get together and gossip about the goings-on in their buildings. (It's usually after this that I get suggestive comments about the visits of my female American colleague who occasionally comes for tea or meals.)
His laid-back lifestyle isn't the result of a lack of tasks. The elevator is absolutely disgusting and has been needing a cleaning for months. Some of the doors sometimes don't shut properly, keeping the elevator from budging and forcing people to use the stairs. A little tinkering, a little cleaning...there is plenty to do if he wanted to keep himself busy.
In any case, that's not really a problem for me. I can deal with the building the way it is. I just don't lean against the elevator walls. I wear shoes when I leave the apartment. And I walk when the elevator isn't working.
What's more troubling from my perspective is how he is always asking for things from me.
In my concierge's case, most days he just sits outside the front of the building, unshaved, slouching in his chair in the shade, watching the world go by. He and the concierges from the neighboring buildings sometimes get together and gossip about the goings-on in their buildings. (It's usually after this that I get suggestive comments about the visits of my female American colleague who occasionally comes for tea or meals.)
His laid-back lifestyle isn't the result of a lack of tasks. The elevator is absolutely disgusting and has been needing a cleaning for months. Some of the doors sometimes don't shut properly, keeping the elevator from budging and forcing people to use the stairs. A little tinkering, a little cleaning...there is plenty to do if he wanted to keep himself busy.
In any case, that's not really a problem for me. I can deal with the building the way it is. I just don't lean against the elevator walls. I wear shoes when I leave the apartment. And I walk when the elevator isn't working.
What's more troubling from my perspective is how he is always asking for things from me.
When I went to the States for Christmas he asked for a computer. When I explained that I couldn't afford a computer for myself, let alone for him, he seemed to doubt my story. All Americans are rich, right?
He eventually just pressed me for a cell phone. I explained that American cell phones were the same Chinese cell phones that they sold in Morocco, but he didn't seem to understand that either.
Sometimes he asks for a visa and a Green Card. Then I have to explain I can't help him; he has to apply to the visa lottery just like everyone else.
Sometimes he asks for a visa and a Green Card. Then I have to explain I can't help him; he has to apply to the visa lottery just like everyone else.
One time I just asked him what he really wanted to do for a job. He said he wanted to drive a limo...anything that would make lots of money. I didn't ask him if he planned to take any steps to try to make that happen, but I think I know the answer.
Out of respect for Moroccan cultural norms I try to stop and chat with him every time I leave the building. Most days he is in a bit of a sulk. And it only gets worse when he demands something from me and I have to say no. Two days ago, he complimented me on my jacket and then asked for it. I've never been much of one for style, and I don't have a very extensive wardrobe. So even though most of my clothing is fairly inexpensive, I can't just hand it over to someone who asks for it.
Out of respect for Moroccan cultural norms I try to stop and chat with him every time I leave the building. Most days he is in a bit of a sulk. And it only gets worse when he demands something from me and I have to say no. Two days ago, he complimented me on my jacket and then asked for it. I've never been much of one for style, and I don't have a very extensive wardrobe. So even though most of my clothing is fairly inexpensive, I can't just hand it over to someone who asks for it.
I tried to make a joke out of it by asking him if he was going to give me his jacket, but like all my attempts to teasingly make him see some reciprocity in our relationship, it went no where.
The man is obviously poor. Even though I am one of the poorer Americans out there (as I try to explain to him again and again without success), I am still richer than he is. That being said, he has a stable job and a good living situation for his family. As such, he is better off than a large chunk of Moroccans.
Largely as a result of this dynamic, my roommate Daniel has stopped talking to him beyond the most cursory of greetings. I continue on, but it's hard to justify it to myself. We can't really have any sort of friendship based on common interests and mutual respect. I don't seem to have any influence on him. My comments and questions go nowhere. And I can't see any way to significantly alter his living situation. I cannot provide him with the things he wants from me, and the things I can provide for him he already has.
The man is obviously poor. Even though I am one of the poorer Americans out there (as I try to explain to him again and again without success), I am still richer than he is. That being said, he has a stable job and a good living situation for his family. As such, he is better off than a large chunk of Moroccans.
Largely as a result of this dynamic, my roommate Daniel has stopped talking to him beyond the most cursory of greetings. I continue on, but it's hard to justify it to myself. We can't really have any sort of friendship based on common interests and mutual respect. I don't seem to have any influence on him. My comments and questions go nowhere. And I can't see any way to significantly alter his living situation. I cannot provide him with the things he wants from me, and the things I can provide for him he already has.
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I have the same dilemma with the people who stand in front of the El station here. In fact, I challenged one the other day, "I've heard that story before; you work this corner."
ReplyDeleteHow does God look at him?
You seem to be focusing on the end of the relationship, whether in terms of some act of charity that you perform for him or a friendship you build with him.
I would propose gently that the compassion you feel (as expressed in this ethical dilemma in fact) is more important. The day his presence stops bothering you, you should start worrying.
Our grand ideas about justice start with the concrete concern we feel for the poor and suffering in our midst. Let this man be a constant reminder to you that the Kingdom of God has yet to come; we all have work to do.